the fragmants of imagination...

imagination will save us all... its the little things you see... the ones that make love perfect.. the ones that let you flirt on sms.. the ones that make you sigh... and smile.. not the glorious displays of vibrant affection.. those have a different place in life.. the little things.. that make it a continuous process of life... of living.. of savouring... the ones that make not for happy endings... but the realisation and revelation that the little things make endings unimportant.. only the journey is important.. riding on the waves of sighs... emails.. and letters.. snubs and below the belts.. things said and things yet to be said.. memories of freshly cut grass and realising for the first times that words can move you.. to tears.. to an epiphany of orgasm... of poets and satire.. the deep gash of sarcasm... more wounding than the physical strike...

He created him, and determined him,
then the way he eased for him,
then makes him to die, and buries him,
then when He wills, He raises him.
No indeed! Man has not accomplished His bidding.*

when does one realise that time is of no essence only life is.. only living is.. does it take holy revelation.. divine light.. or a passing comment from someone you wouldnt normally listen to...

an accident waiting to happen, a piece of glass left there on the beach
when you tell me things i know youre not supposed to, and leave me just out reach...

when you lied to me cause i asked you to, baby can we still be friends**

buzz me if ur in town, itll be great to catch up.. call me, we should do dinner and talk.. where the the hell have you been, whats been going on, when are you coming home, hows bombay treating you... do you often say things you dont mean... be there in five.. love you.. need you... course i love you, why wouldnt I, of course i miss you, why wouldnt I, the vicious self depraving circle of white lies that turn the world.. do you? dont you? doyadontcha?........ dont you?

but this is the real world and darlin doesnt make the cut in the midst of cynical idealism...

stories of payals and pen pals.. of gypsies and rakhis... of duty heavier than a mountain and death lighter than a feather... of the fragments of imagination... of the beginning and ending of imagination all at the same time...

of sounding your barbaric yawp from the rooftops of the world***

i digress.. i often do.. i often have no point whatsoever... i am...

*cf: Sura 80, The Holy Qu'ran
**cf: Whose Gonna Ride You Wild Horses, U2
***cf: Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman

who is john galt?

reminiscing about friends and things gone by and things left unsaid i said to her.. and realised i hadnt blogged in like forever.. this is a guilt blog.. hehe..

ok so i love facebook.. hehe. i bloody do.. the whole pic upload-taggin thing's bloody awesum!... everybody needs to get onto it.. like now. go go go.. no i DONT get a cut... i also realised i dont have pictures with so many people id want to.. im gonna change that asap..

well.. ok more serious stuff.. im gonna be quitting so if anybodys not heard that before.. here it is now.. and im serious.. i think i wanna move back home.. im not sure.. im jus being greedy.. seemu the plasma's ready.. varun where is that apartment my bro...?

the plan was to celebrate holi at home.. but that meant i had to put in my papers day before.. which i havent done.. listenin to higher reason which says i should have sumthing in hand before i do that.. so im watchin and waiting.. and wanting.. albert p dolittle stye...

oh well. maybe ill manage gauri's weddin or sumthing.. wow everyones gettin married.. but im not gonna dwell on that it'll depress me even more..

my necks hurting.. been succumbing to a lot more of these little nicks these days...

its about crossroads you see.. ive been working with the taj.. ever since ive been working... so its kinda weird and tough to take this call. so many friends.. so many crazy memories... things done and things said.. its jus that i dont wanna do sales anymore.. global accounts relationship management or whatever the tag.. i dont wanna... its jus a call.. maybe ill come back to it.. maybe i wont.. whos to say.. who is john galt..?

*snip.. excellent week in delhi over new yrs.. like id said.. a great friend made.. and now the same one lost.. i never meant to hurt anyone.. i had promised.. no stories.. and i held to my word.. but how do u deal with an annoyed ex boyfriend whos hell bent on maligning your already fragile reputation.. u cant fight it.. u try..u plead.. but u cant.. so u let up.. and let it go.. its a pity though for sure.. there was something there for sure.. something good and kind.. and a little wave of a hand and a little flick of her hair.. but.. its not to be.. i am sorry.. but im not apologising this time..

*snip..what a weekend in bangalore.. my second.. but u cant compare.. its jus not right.. its just another weekend.. and she is wonderful.. not was.. is... a gem.. but im not ready to marry.. not now. not yet.. not for a while.. and this is india.. and she does have parents.. and they are being dodgy.. dont blame her either.. she showed me love and a carelessly honest loyalty of the obvious.. makes you wanna melt.. but not in this lifetime.. she'll always be special.. just in a different way.. another fleeting glimpse of happiness drifts away... another dawn another day.. anahat's a cynic again... the idealism is stronger than ever though... i am sorry.. but im not apologising this time.. i had not the courage to be loyal.. but i can face the criticism of my vanity head on...

pullll... peach.. hmmmm..

mere bachhe.. dukh se mat ghabrah.. dukh woh amrit hai jisse paap dhulte hain...
main tere se door nahi.. tere andar bahar.. main hi main hoo..sirf main..

na deen hai na duniya.. na insaan na bhagvan. sirf main...**


who is john galt?

**cf: Vijay Anand's Guide