you had not the courage to be loyal... only the convictions of your own vanity...* well is it truly pointless to try and be loyal? is it such a bore? does one really need to have courage for it? is it such a prized and scare victorian concept... well events unfolding would make me believe so... and yet.. it seems quite simple to me for some reason.. I know that I am probably burdened with archaic conceptualizations of propriety and honour.. but on the other hand the feelings they evoke... courage.. fortitude... these archaic concepts of mine.. to be aspired to I think.. not shied away from and not ever crushed under the guise of vanity.. oh what more vanity and self belief than to be courageous against the face of a barrage.. to stand straight with your held up high against the wind.. to scream to shout.. to live.. life.. in the moment and on your own terms.. to never be drifted by petty temptations.. loyalty.. to ones beliefs to ones stand...
like I admitted to shivani the other day.. "when in doubt do nothing" is probably the worst stance to take..
"sometimes you must sail, against the wind
and sometimes you must sail with it,
but the point is to always sail.. never stand still...
and never ever drift..."
-anahat
*cf: The Duke of Walsinghm to the Duke of Norfolk - Elizabeth
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