things left unsaid...

nights in white satin... never reaching the end...
letters I've written... never meaning to send...*

are you the sort of person who misses places? I was thinking about it... I'm in the beforemath of shifting cities... from my current Chennai to the more vibrant, recently submerged financial capital on India, Mumbai... its work related and I'm kinda glad to be going, of nothing else then just for the sheer change in cultures and mindsets...
So.. now that i've sneaked that in... coming back to missing places.. will I miss Chennai? and the collective sigh of all my pores and molecues sighs... NO!... and I wonder about that.. It's not that I haven't had a blast here.. living on my own.. decent levels of comfort.. experiences uniquely chennaite and yet fun... "yet"... Its not like im not wary about moving.. I'm actually quite sad to be going... but I'm sure I dont miss places..
so then it comes to me.. I'll miss the comforts of the familiure.. I mean its so much easier to drive back sozzled out of your wits once you've got those damn speedbreakers and uniquey Indian Potholes/"Men were surely at work" spots figured out... but hang on.. I'll figure that out soon enough in Mumbai as well..
then??? people... what about the people.. the ones I'll spot at airports and on MSN everyonceinawhile... and those that I wont.. ever.. and It strikes me.. that life's so funny that way.. you go through so many priorities and people and places so fast and you never really realise till you sit back one day.... an hoping ur not a compete muppet lean on your laz-e-boy watchin sports on a plazma screen... that there are so many people.. so many frineds and so many ...not really got a chance to become frineds... and you havent a clue what theyre upto.. and you wanna.. that you have so many things left.. and u reach for your cellphone/blackberry and sms and call and mail and try to get some of it back.. and you cant.. ever.. ....its NOW.. do it now cause no amount of technology can replace now...
or you'll be left with what if's??.. and things left unsaid..

chal sochen kya... choti si hai zindagi...
kal mil jaaen to hogi khush nasibi...
meri chhat ko rakhlena... jaise koi nishani...**

*cf: Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues
**cf: Pal - KK

worldviews and faces...

so I got a phone call... and my world turned upside down... for a bit... so this isnt about that phone call.. I'm jus sayin.. its about my world.. now here's the question.. and there must always be one.. if perception is key.. and it is.. how different really is my world.. from the real one.. okok im not philosophising or going off here.. im jus wondering... everyone colours their world.. everyone has pre-concieved notions, prejudices... and we usually see what we want to and hear what we like... and filter all the other mumbo jumbo... which means everyones got thier unique filter and everyone has their own 'worldview'... as in actually... so i might be missing a whole bunch of experiences and people and places because im stuck with this filter of mine... also to add to the whole mess.. people are different with different people.. ...

There will be time, there will be time...
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet...*

and everyones got there masques.. and its all a bunch of powerplays and games.. and honestly and genuineness is a lost cause.. oneupmanship and a ruthless march towards the twin pillars of post modernist civilization.. sex and money... and so much gets lost.. and so many half compromises and so many justifications...

somtimes i wonder.. is it worth it... reallly...
who's to say...

anyway... its jus a thought... i got a phone call and my world turned upside down... jus for a bit...

*Cf: The Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock, T S Eliot