perfection...

nothing is so good it lasts eternally,
perfect situations must go wrong,
but that has never yet prevented me,
wanting far too much for far too long...*

the song goes on about looking back, and playing it differently, learning about the person before you fall, some spatterings of how its madness and ends with...

if i knew form the start how it would end,
why am I falling apart??...*

anyway.. thought i'd mention how its brilliant and such.. but I dont wanna hear about how I'm bound to feel this way right now and how perfection is not an achievable paradigm and its a constant aim to strive for etc... so im not going to...

relationships jus arent what they used to be.. two folks used to fall in love, compromise and stick it out, or they would compromise, then fall in love and then stick it out, depending on which spectrum of the marrige scenario you pegged onto.. now its not the same..

now you have individuality, and independace; financial, social and emotional, and in such a context as it was pointed out to me... co existance is a nightmare, and you have to pick one and then youre in trouble... either way...

well what do you do if ur the sort of commitment phobic limelight huggin meglomaniac who gets hurt everytime and never learns and then puts up his hands and says, alllrighteeethen, no more of the vulnerability shit, form now on its straight on meaningful sex with meaningless women who tingle some fantasy or the other...?

well luckily thats not too difficult a question to answer... i guess you carry on till it stays in your fancy and then try somethign else to fill the void, the constant need to feel important to someone else, the need to be loved and beleive that you inspire such ideals...

and i guess you carry on..

...she said its all gonna end so it might as well be my fault**

bitterness, maybe? I'm not sure, anyone wanna hazard a judgement call on this?

*cf: I know him so well, Sarah Brightman & Elaine Paige - Chess
**cf: 3 AM - Matchbox 20