a whirlwind of emotions.. thats what life really is... at the end of the day.. or at the beggining of it all.. shock.. surprise.. curiosity... anger.. hate.. love.. remorse... joy... ecstacy... longing... desire... momentaty contentment... drunken stupor... and the comfort of the familiar and the nostalgia of a quater of a decade of feelings...
cant deny its been a haitus... jus didnt feel like writing.. then i read butsy's post (http://bahel.blogspot.com) and oh the nostalgia hit like a torrent.. if i delve into that... ill be here forever... so ill just babble...
at home.. staring at pictures of friends.. and a wave hits on top... lemon yellow sun... and arms on my notebook... the remains of last night lay on the floor below... daddy and mommy too far away... anahat blogs again....
sigh... i saw omkara.. its vishal bharadwaj's u.p. version of othello.. you may recall he made a version of macbeth titled maqbool some time ago... lets hope we see his hamlet and king lear soon enough... brilliant bloody flick.. and ajay devgan the uglier he gets the better actor he turns into...
so i jus ordered mcdonalds.. the delivery guys even have my cellphone number now.. dont even bother ringing the damn bell cause they know the musics too lound and the ac.s on and the doors closed...
spiked my large diet coke with a larger smirnoff.. am hungover.. and this always works...
going to go over to a colleague/friends place in a bit... drink some more.. and talk about work and politics.. and work politics and smoke a nice sheeshee ive got her hubby addicted to... haha.. srijan my brother the web continues.. your disciples are everywhere spreading the religion...
im goin home.. on 11th... im gonna jus catch asim and deeksha who are gettin engaged on the 5th and do my rakhi dues for the 9th and catch srij before he leaves on the 12th and meet his new girlfriend and some of my friends and yeah go to barog for a day and meet mum.. THIS IS MY BREAK.. wow... sometimes i think i should shift home and avoid all this melodrama...
im not moving to delhi.. i was supp to and i know i told a bunch of u i was.. but im not.. mumbai it is.. despite the floods and bomings and riots cause someone dissed some statue (??) im here cause this is where careers are forged... and ive got promoted recently and moving into a new assignment..
jus got back from goa.. nono.. didnt do any e.. went for work.. marketing confrence.. lots strategy, champagne the entire senior management of indian hotels and some very nice food themes at the taj exotica...
i feel alone.. again.. srijans latest foray makes me wonder if i really like being single or is it jus disguised commitment phobia..
aarit's moving to mumbai.. thats nice.. another pool of familiarity in this concrete jungle of oneupmanship and selfish pragmatism...
i so need to stop drinking and dialing/smsing... when will i learn...
need more smirnof.... pour.... hmmm..... im going to play some tekken V... its very liberating...
were jus too lost souls living in a fish bowl.. year after year....*
*cf: Wish You Were Here: Pink Floyd
9 comments:
Emotions..... fear, sorrow, loneliness. love, envy, happiness, surprise, wonderment... how come we let the intensity of it all get drowned under alcohol. Is it too much for us to handle untainted, pure, emotions as they are? Why do we choose to dull our senses? I don't get it.
@purva
I suppose its because we cant handle them, nothing in excess... medians are so much easier to deal with in the real course of things... on the other hands, you need to change your drink... most alcohol can heighten experiences if your frame of mind allows it ;-)
alcohol will dull your senses to the extent that everything is a good idea. And thats the state you want to be in when you're down. You want to come up with shit to deal with it - and you want it to be a good idea. Enter Alcohol. Spirit... its also called.
Alcohol is just such a good excuse to be "honest" or "foolish" with ourselves unlike before when it was used as a justification for foolish/bad behaviour at a party.
It is so much easier to open up to ourselves when the alcohol has washed away all our filters of logic, cynicism and realism that justify our choices, decisions and existence.
Our dulled senses are just so much more capable of dealing with the truth because we know... tommorow when I wake up I won't (don't have to)remember... I was drunk.
@maya
i wish that actually worked.. it doesnt anymore.. 'dude... really shit sorry man i was drunk'
hehe....
U really can't say.. Shit i was drunk.. to yourself... can u..?
@maya
of course you can darling.. try it does wonders for the guilty soul... cant believe i did that.. with her.. oh well i was smashed... etctec...
Huh! Nice way of excusing oneself from any "blame"!
@ruch
hehe.. im not sayin i do it.. or need to.. i was jus saying its an option... if u live the 'no regrets' policy i do u dont need excuses...
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