voids... honestly emptiness.. a lack of.. somethings missing.. a little high.. a little smashed.. quite exhausted.. and the only thing i can really conjure up.. is that i feel a void..
it could be living alone.. it could be companionship.. it could be work.. it could be anything.. or it could be nothing.. it could just be that we're a generation of boys brought up by our mothers, in a cocooned existence of left liberal world views.. never denied.. always encouraged.. always left alone to be ourselves.. try our ideas.. fall and learn on our own.. we are islands.. and in our naivety we our proud individualists... always alone..
y is it ok anahat.. well mostly because i got here on my own terms.. then y r you so empty anahat.. well i havent the foggiest..
but i am here on my own terms.. and i have much to be thankful for.. i do know that any decision i make.. my parents would support. quit.. move cities.. study more.. hibernate for a while.. my friends would encourage.. my cazas would applaud..
what makes you believe that an education no matter how vocational it may be.. needs to lead to a 9to6 job.. am pm.. whatever.. why cant it jus be educational.. experiential..
why do we believe that cars and vodkaredbulls and plasma display panel can fill the soul.. they jus distract.. they're like lava lamps.. enh mj.. look bloody good but serve no real purpose..
oh i dont know.. sometimes the dilemma of weekends is the dilemma of the soul.. way too much time on your hands for endless thoughts.. of endless longings of courage and look at thems..
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where i Started
Chasing after you
i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you
forgetting all i'm lacking
completely incomplete
i'll take your invitation
you take all of me
now.. i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto*
*cf: Hanging by a Moment, Lifehouse
11 comments:
Enjoy the void.. It perhaps whispers stories that need to be heard ... ... And hey, you might not be part of the race - It's a win - win!
To my surprise, I've hrd way too many ppl talk abt similar stuff and almost felt the same.
Almost everything around us seems like a distraction when you introspect during one of those sunday evenings. The realization of missing smething real is magnified.
May be its the social construct boiled by the fact that your friends are falling into one while you are still hanging by a flimsy branch, not letting go.
Nobody likes change, we won't let go unless something/someone triggers it. We will continue to distract ourselves and continue discussing this. :)
-S
Your memory amazes me sometimes..
I'd forgotten that particular saying that I had about boys... maybe it is because over the last few years I have met boys that are slightly more than lava lamps...
Kick ass plasma & redbull vodka are distractions that fill the void created when you are playing the game...
You are done playing the game... the viod will fill itself soon with something "real"...
PS: if you quit, take a break or in general stop being driven - I will NOT support to you. Just so that we are clear :)
u will not support to me? :-(
I won't support you either. Simply because these are weak justifications to quit. The classic means to an end (.."don't get lost in the means") is a cliched, but not necessarily unreal occurrence.
Figure out what you want out of life. Don't try and put a purpose to it - because there is none. Being cynical about it is alright - its facing the facts - thats all.
The distractions you speak of are real. You don't NEED a plasma screen truthfully speaking -but if you enjoy it - then why not ana?
There is something to be said about moving away from home and making it on your own. (i.e. rents in delhi and you in bombay doing your thing). Something RARE or almost non-existant in your peer-group (myself included). There is accomplishment there - there is achievement there. And this is NOT relative. This is individualistic... this is your island. YOU built it. You are allowed to take pride in the apartment you pay rent for... or have a job that pays that rent for you - because you did that. THAT is ambition, and that is recognizable - regardless of who says what. Its easy to lose sight of the reasons you do something that intrinsically make you happy, just as it is sometimes easy to move into la-la land and lose sight of the bad things. Thus the ups and downs.
But you know what - thats the best part about it - its your life to live...
The comment above makes a lot of sense.
However, I'd like to add smething...
I agree that you built everything and you have a lot to be proud of. But as you decide whether or not you are proud, you introspect at times and decide you want something more or maybe just want to change things a bit.
And that doesn't mean you are less driven, it means you are done with present and you are looking at "what's my next chase", "what's the next thing I want".
Just need to figure out what and you'll be on track again. Easier said than done, but am sure you'll figure it. It's necessary.
If you decide you want to do something different/change pace/ refocus/"re-evaluate" then ofcourse I'll support you, but if you just stop because its the easy way out, then no I won't.
can voids not be beautiful? can lonliness not be as meaninful as company? maybe even more? why are we afraid of solitude, of emptiness, of silence?
oh and maybe the silence of the void is just a figment of our imagination maybe its songs are more beautiful than those we can listen to. Maybe the void is telling you something?
weekends do tend to have this annoying habit of leading one to look within and introspect. oh another one's coming up, easy does it. this too shall pass.
can't say i dont identify with the void...sadly enough i feel the void staying with my own family.... so its something slightly deeper ... have my own theory on the void... i think it happens when you kind of approach an inflexion point... when you start getting signals that u need to move to the next level...
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