where you most hope for it...

dont fight it... jus give in... ive realised over the years and in the past few days... there are three things you cant fight.. gravity... those who love you/those you love and random urges... its pointless i tell u... go ahead jus lie down.. jus listen.. and jus indulge...

or you'll wake up one day with a broken back and pain in places u cant imagine have horrible thoughts and wish you hadnt been such a coward or such a prick all those times.. and then youll realise youre just looking for sympathy and youll find it in the one place you least expect it and most hope for.. and itll jus make your week.. and then youll realise youre leaving and its jus such a complicated little tumble jumble of emotions and what ifs and timing and place and diametric singularities that youll jus wanna lie down hug the pillow an smile and cry all at the same time...

start spreading the news.. im leaving in a week.. its going to be all sorts of new possibilities and problematic come face to face with the pasts all over again.... im looking forward to some of it more that others of course... but thank god its friday.. or wait is that tuesdays at friday...

a doctor an artiste a corporate whip a lawyer a mountain recluse a journalist and another one a couple of investment bankers a couple of hard working heirs a couple of not so hard working heirs... some old friends some new ones and a whole lot of acquaintances... try as u might u can never have things back the way they were.. meant to be?... whose to say... but u always try to recreate hope try and try again.. and then one day youll wake up with a broken dream and a more dazzling reality and youll realise maybe calvin did know a little bit of what he was on about.. not a lot but maybe just a bit and things do get better after they seem worse... and youll find bliss where you least expect it and where you most hope for it..

come home...